Teacher's Ramblings

A potpourri of education, politics, family matters, and current events.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Scrapple Face and the NY Times

The most consistently funny site on the web!

(2004-10-18) -- The editorial board of The New York Times Monday issued its second endorsement of John Forbes Kerry in as many days.

The Times said the latest endorsement is part of a periodic series of articles which have appeared in various sections of the newspaper throughout the campaign.

Here are some excerpts from the latest Times editorial titled "John Forbes Kerry: Decidedly Different":

"In the journalistic tradition of full disclosure, we need to acknowledge the political bias of the editorial staff at The New York Times. A recent in-house poll shows that 97 percent of our news department tried to vote for Al Gore in the 2000 presidential election, but they were disenfranchised because of trifling concerns about their criminal records and other nonsense about being at the wrong polling place or not having genuine identification. (Although it should be noted that our staff had no trouble using their IDs to buy some fine, vintage Chinese communist automatic weapons at a local gun show.) The Bush administration and its co-conspirators at local polling places have a dark record of treating felons as if they're criminals."

"We believe John Forbes Kerry has the experience it will take to sit at the table with U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, and acquire the necessary permissions for America to carry out her foreign policy objectives."
"One wrestles with how best to describe Mr. Kerry; a seasoned, steady, accomplished man who cuts a dashing figure as he snowboards and bikes across the American political landscape. He's a career Vietnam veteran, distinguished war protestor, protector and resuscitator of family rodents, loving husband of two women with whom he shared the burden of enormous wealth, friend of downtrodden trial lawyers and, to a certain extent, he is also a U.S. Senator."

"He's a profoundly moral man, yet a man who never lets his morality dictate his policies. Like John F. Kennedy, Mr. Kerry won't be a Roman Catholic president, he'll be a president who says that he's a Roman Catholic."

"Perhaps the most impressive feature of Mr. Kerry's campaign can be encapsulated in a single sentence: 'I have a plan.' With that uncharacteristically succinct quartet of monosyllabic words, he has captured the imagination of the nation in a fashion reminiscent of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr."
Future President Kerry has a plan for every aspect of American life, including...


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